Losing someone....

16th May 2018

My daughters school is closed, so I was about to leave her to her Day care. It was around 10 am,, we were late from usual time, I had a meeting and a followup call. On a normal day when we were about to leave, most of the time the lift stops at floor 4 and Vinay get in. My daughter pointed out today... "Mummy hum late ho gaye issliye uncle nahi aaye lift mein?" I nodded and for a fraction of second I too thought of him..

It was probably 2 years when we shifted in this society. Few people make a mark on you the instance you lay eyes on them. Vinay, and Mridu his wife were those persons.

At first it was just a smile that followed our occasional cross over here and there in the society/ club house/ parking area. Until my daughter started schooling. My daughters school timing and Vinay's office timing were perfect match or it was a kids sixth sense that we 3 meet every single morning from Monday to Friday.
They have a perfect return timing also, I used to be a bit late or early at times to disturb this evening sync, but every single evening we will cross over.

This kind of meeting was awkward at first but we 3 got used to it, It would not be right to say that we became friends,,, we aren't ... but we came to know each other, a bit more than the neighbors who never talk.

I clearly remember him when I was in Kanchan's house and was about to go to Bhatinda for the first time. Kanchan and Vinay's family hail from Punjab, Chandigarh.. so I asked Kanchan about the road and safety. I had to travel alone and was wondering if its safe there or not... Amit (Kanchans husband) was logical but Vinay's answer brought smile on my face. I don't remember his words exactly but I do remember he can make anyone smile.

On one day I was waiting for the cab to pick my daughter to school at the society gate. Vinay was as usual driving out of the gate, he stopped looked back and gave a huge wave and smile to me. I waved back with a smile and a confusion... what is this?? This is a gesture one shows to their close friends or family when they meet after a long time. It was a distant gesture yet too warm.. That evening, i saw his wife, she returned home after 2 months.. I understood why he was too happy. I conveyed my feelings to his wife.... He was someone who was happy and joyous because his wife was returning back to him after 2 months.

I met him many times and our interactions grew a bit more informal every single day...

I like him as a person who has an attitude to make anyone smile, make anyone his own, live life for his family, shower love to everyone.

These incidents and many more flashed in front of my eyes when my daughter asked me about him today in the lift. I was smiling and replied to her "Yes , aaj uncle phele hi chale gaye" .

We were walking towards my scooty when I saw Sunitha aunty crying out loud in front of B building.. I was shocked and asked her what happened.. she said "Vinay nahi rahe".. Vinay,,, it cant be ... It has to be some other Vinay,,, But when I saw Mridu in the hospital... I knew I lost a friend today...

Happy Women's Day

My inbox is flooded today with messages of Happy Women's day.. That make me wonder,,, why is there a rush to wish this day in particular...

What do we wish ,,, holidays, birthdays, achievements, festivities... they come once a year and go... We wish something so that we remember something special is there on that day..

Wishing this day means,,  One is following the tradition of posting anything they receive, which in itself is sad. Without understanding what you are doing and why you are doing makes no sense.

or their might be people who understand what Women's day actually means... Then thats even more depressing. You tend to remind a women that she is a women .. Is this something she can forget or is it something she is entitled to celebrate only once a year.

There are messages sharing that women sacrifice a lot.. I wonder if being a women made her sacrifice... or its the normal pattern of life.. a tree bears fruits and sacrifices it for others, the chicken goes to satisfy your hunger, the earth bears your load ... and changing names,, I dont think its our tradition to change names,, I dont find any reference that Sita or Kunti had different surnames before and after marriage.

The people who forward these messages are not from the conservative society that still prevails in parts of our society. They claim to be learned, educated, open minded..... and still refer us as Women engineers rather that Engineers, Lady doctors rather than Doctor, Women police officer rather than police officer. A post doesn't have a gender associated with it, because it is not meant to be.

We are meant to fulfill our purpose for which we have taken birth. What we do and how we do matters not that the work done by a women is great and the same work done by men are normal.

If you Men and believe that Women are also human, stop reminding them that they are women and its an alm that you are giving by giving them respect.

If you are Women and reading this post, I am sure you dont belong to the place where you cant even take a breath without notice, so stop pitying on yourself for a life full of sacrifices.  You are free to choose the way you want to live. If its your choice, then you have not sacrificed. If not, then you have to look again into yourself. If you are alive you have a choice.

I am a Mother, a Sister, a Daughter, a Wife, a friend, and an Engineer,,, but not a Women Engineer!